For the past three weeks or so, the obsession engine has been revving, but it's trying to drive the wrong project. I love writing the Rugosa Coven characters, and their two novellas are not the end of what I mean to do with them, but dammit, I need them to let go of my brain for a while.
In the first year after I left academia, I wrote over 300,000 words of rough draft. Very, very rough draft, it's true, but I don't think the roughness I allowed myself is the reason I wrote so much then, while I've only hit 100K/yr since. I think it's that, during that first year, I wrote whatever scene the obsession engine was linked up to. There was no audience. There was no hope or expectation of a professional sale anytime in the near future. There was nothing at stake for me in steering the process, so I didn't bother trying to steer. It was like Nanowrimo every day, only without the stress and metrics. Now it actually matters which project gets my attention first. I miss the freedom of having no clue what the hell I was doing.
This morning, Dan read the first Stisele chapter over breakfast while I checked email. I was such a pest. Every time he laughed, every time he raised his eyebrows, every time he had any discernible reaction to the text, I'd interrupt him to say, "What? What?" (Have I mentioned that my spouse is a really good sport about this whole writing thing?) Stisele has a reader now. I wonder if that will help. If I could just will myself to slide into her skin the way I used to slide into Haldur's without half trying, there would be progress. Progress, dammit!